I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
