he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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