MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
