So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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