Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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