You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
