sorry about calling you the devil all night.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize