STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
