i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
