omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize