We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i drank out of a bidet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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