I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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