Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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