Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
