yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize