We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
