I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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