so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
