He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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