dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
