Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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