My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
