went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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