so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
