THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
