I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
