Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
