Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
