She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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