that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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