THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
