Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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