I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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