$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
