Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this just has baby written all over it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
