i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
