You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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