Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
