we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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