So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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