Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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