I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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