You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You can't just leave with hair like that
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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