I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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