Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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