And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
where am i from again
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
