What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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