Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
what day is it and did you see me today?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
