Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
