the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
