wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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