Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
