OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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