took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
