I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
