She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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