im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
